Reorganizing the Pantry
By J.L. Salter
I wrote this initially one year ago, when the incident actually occurred… but it stands just as true today as it did back then. Read on:
It’s difficult to concentrate on my edits today. My wife and daughter are reorganizing our pantry.
In itself, that shouldn’t be particularly rattling… but it is when you add-in the resident mouse.
Yeah, a mouse has taken up residence in that pantry and eaten through an entire roll of paper towels to make her nest.
Well, about every 13 minutes Daughter Julie — the inside worker — lets out a shriek… and Wife Denise jumps back about six feet. Their reorganizing lurches to a halt as I zoom into the pantry — armed with a broken badminton racket — and hunt for the rodent.
Of course, in all these 6-7 alarms, I have not yet actually seen the mouse. It’s long gone by the time I get there.
Hovering well behind me, Julie will shriek, “There it is! Right next to the oatmeal box!”
By the time my eyes locate the oatmeal, the mouse has relocated behind the syrup, or baked beans, or somewhere else.
On this last instance, Julie yelled, “He’s on the bottom shelf.”
So I drop to my knees to search the bottom shelf (a section of plywood).
“Not that bottom shelf,” she clarifies, “the other bottom shelf.”
Well, she evidently meant the lowest WIRE shelf.
Folks, when you’re hunting large game like mice, you need very specific data to work with.
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BTW, our cat, King Sipper, was of no help whatsoever. Twice he was placed in the pantry to help us find this mouse, but he couldn’t be bothered. It’s beneath him to do piece work. He just sat on his customary chair nearby and observed with typical disinterest. One of my wife’s roosters might have made quick work of that mouse, but chickens tend to be indiscriminate about where they use the bathroom.