The Nattering Ninja # 1 — How Does She Know?

How Does The Wife Know These Things?
By J. L. Salter
For two full days, I’d been hearing a horrible knocking/rattling noise somewhere in the right front of my truck. Inspecting underneath, I could not see anything amiss, but I knew it was not directly related to the wheel rotation, because it only made the noise on bumps (no matter how small). I was about three seconds from driving to the shop to have them check it out, but I couldn’t reach my wife to get her to pick me up, in case they needed to keep it overnight. My brain pictured a busted strut, collapsed a-frame, blown shock absorber, deranged steering damper, etc. I even wondered if the antenna mount had come loose. It was definitely not in the glove compartment and I was NOT dragging any dead bodies. [Not recently, anyhow].
I did find the antenna mount slightly loose and tightened it, but the noise continued for two entire days.

Finally, one morning, with my wife in the passenger seat, I had a witness to the noise and also someone whose ears were much closer to the source. We had only driven perhaps half a mile when I had to stop to get my Mom’s newspaper.

When I got back into the truck, my wife said, “I think I fixed it.”

Me: “Fixed what? How?”

Her: “Just drive over some bumps and see if you can hear it.”

Me: “Won’t be hard to find bumps on our road.”
[So I drove and drove.]

Her: “Well, do you still hear it?”

Me: “Kinda. Maybe. Not as loud. Guess not. What did you do?”

Her: “I can’t tell you until you agree that I fixed it.”

Me: “Okay, you fixed it. Now what did you do?”

[She pointed to the windshield visor on the passenger side.]
Her: It was out of the bracket and I just pushed it in.

Me: “That’s it? It sounded like the right front quarter of my truck was about to fall off.”

Her: “You don’t hear the noise anymore, do you?”

Me: “No comment.”


J.L. Salter is author of 14 fiction titles, published by three royalty publishers. See his novels and novellas at

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *