The Nattering Ninja # 2 — Which Part is Tender?

Who Knew Where a Chicken’s LOINS Were?

By J. L. Salter

I had a relatively short list for the weekly run with my (elderly) Mom for Kroger’s Senior Discount Day. But my wife had put a new item on my list: “chicken tenders.”

Well, folks, I know what they look like in the restaurant, after they’ve been breaded and fried, but I’ve never bought them at the grocery before. So I studied all the considerable array of chicken meat. I found one that sounded close — “chicken tenderloins”, it said.

Well, folks, in my limited experience with animal bodies, the “loins” are basically in the area of the animal’s crotch. So I was staring at the label and wondering what a “chicken tender crotch” would look like … much less what it would taste like (after cooking).

Drew a blank.

Went over to the butcher shop area to inquire. “Uh, I was sent to get chicken tenders. Exactly what part of the chicken body is this tenderloin?”

The butcher eyed the label and then scrutinized me. “It’s the side of the breast,” he replied cautiously.

“So it’s not down here on the chicken?” I asked, pointing below my own belt line.

His eyes grew large, but there was no reply.

“Look, I just need to know if a tenderloin is the same as a chicken tender.”

“You got it, buddy.”

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The situations I get into… just to buy stuff for my wife!

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